Friday, February 25, 2005

Heres something alittle more Optimistic

I was outside today with Greg hacking and what not... yeah I know it just snowed out this morning... but its all good. Its alot warmer then youd expect... and when we came inside my body didnt go into shock from the sudden change of temperature.
Anyway... we are out there hacking and Greg says:
"I felt it in my nose."
I'll leave you to figure out what he was talking about and how that has anything to do with us hacking outside.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Out of Style?

I've been looking around at the world... am I older in my mind then I should be? The 60's really were an awesome time; but I spend so much time listening to them; and dressing myself up with articles that promote their musack. Everyone does it... true... but I dunno. I dwell alot in the past, which isnt a good thing... but on the other hand I can remember more about someone or some event in better detail than some people can with the day they just had today.
So really; is my dwelling in the past so bad? Depressing yes... but I definitly can retrace history through my head into current events very clearly.
I believe that I dwell in the past for my fear of losing a loved one. In the future; there is a billion different ways I could lose them... in the present; the time for the act in which they may disappear... but in the past; they still exist and are filled with happy memories.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Tired Nights; Ackward Mornings

Every night I cannot stay awake, and every morning I cannot fall asleep. From a certain time every day my body slows down and becomes tired; and by the morning it does not want to sleep. My clock tells me to sleep and my body says "hell, you dont need it" when clearly I do.
I wouldnt call it insomnia and I wouldnt call it narcalepsy. I would call it "Damn your tired" syndrome. My lack of rest keeps me tired; and my inability, laced with lack of time makes it impossible for me to sleep as much or as well as I would like.
Sleep is a good thing; but only when you get enough of it.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Physcological Trouble

My head is lost in confusion; and I dont know how to get out. I cant stop thinking about it, and for the first time in my life I dont want to die. I want to live and be happy and have fun with everyone... but it will stop me... it will keep me away; and I HATE IT for that.